Gone
by Lingua Dii
Summary: Kenny and Kyle won't admit their feelings to each other and now Stan had left South Park. Just how much does that change things? Rated T for language.
1. Influence

Eighth story. Kenny/Kyle (as usual) and tons of storytelling. Unfortunately, I was unable to make this story longer; I just didn't have any ideas. However, this is the original plot that I had come up with while writing my seventh story (and forgot about, temporarily). So I already have a second plot all worked out.

Note: This story has a "darker" setting than the others.

* * *

><p><strong>THREE YEARS AGO<strong>

Stan was having a hard time with his cynicism. He tried to endure it, for his friends' sakes, as he was the one who kept them all together. He knew that if he left, Kenny and Kyle wouldn't stand Cartman's idiocy anymore and after that, Kenny and Kyle would also break apart, unable to admit their feelings to each other. However, it was getting worse. To him, everything looked, smelled and tasted like shit.  
>Stan couldn't take it anymore. He had to leave South Park. He had it all planned out. He saved a large amount of money so he could start over somewhere new; rent an apartment, get a job... all he had to do was keep his parents and his friends from ever finding out where he went.<p>

Stan had already called a taxi, which was now waiting for him outside of town. He finished writing his "Goodbye" note and left.

The following morning, Stan's sister was the first to find the note he left. It was wet from Stan's tears and it was clear that his hands were shaking while he was writing it. She picked it up and read it.

"I'm sorry, I just can't take it anymore.  
>The world is full of shit. I tried to pretend I didn't see it, I tried to pretend I was happy, for your sakes, but I can't do it anymore. Mom and dad are not getting back together and no amount of therapy is going to fix me.<br>I need to get away from all of this.  
>Goodbye."<p>

"_...That stupid turd..._"

Although Shelly used to pick on her brother, over the last couple of years they had been growing closer together, mostly due to his cynicism. She tried to help him through it by listening to his complaints and trying to cheer him up. Sometimes she went with him to therapy, but it was of no use. Shelly knew that, eventually, Stan was going to do something stupid. She just never expected this. Shelly warned her mother, who called the police and all of Stan's friends. Nobody reported seeing him anywhere.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, the entire town had been turned upside down by the police in a futile effort to find Stan. His parents were freaking out and blaming each other, while his friends were looking for him everywhere. They kept on searching the town, knowing that the police were incompetent. However, like the police, their attempt resulted in failure. Stan was gone. He left his cellphone behind, cleared his text messages, phone calls, emails and anything else that could have been used as a lead to find him.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>PRESENT<strong>

For three years, the police didn't give up on searching for Stan. His parents never lost hope either, but they stopped talking to each other permanently. Shelly hadn't tried to get them to talk to each other again. She knew it was pointless. They each blamed the other one for Stan's disappearance and they were too angry to talk it out.

As Stan thought, Kenny, Kyle and Cartman split up. Following his disappearance, Kenny had started doing "mild" drugs again, like alcohol. It was the only way he knew of to deal with a problem. Kyle became obsessed with school, thinking that if he attained enough knowledge, he could fix everything. Cartman, on the other hand, just started eating more and more, becoming fatter than ever, and mocked everyone he could. Like Kenny, it was the only way he could deal with this.

One year after his disappearance, Kenny and Kyle had had enough of Cartman and his bullshit and told him to go hang out with someone else. Since then, Cartman, Tweek, Token and Craig had been hanging out together. Kenny and Kyle were unable to "fill the void" caused by fatass leaving the group and, during the following year and a half, slowly stopped talking to each other to the point that they only talked when it was either necessary or they were forced to. Kenny being drunk most of the time and Kyle always hitting the books didn't help much.

However, unlike what Stan thought, it wasn't just Kenny, Kyle and Cartman that split up.  
>Stan didn't know it, but he was one of the few people responsible for keeping South Park held together. Butters became cold. He stopped caring about everyone and everything except for his most basic needs: food and rest. Craig, much to everyone's surprise, took it very hard and became silent. He barely communicated with anyone, even his own parents. It was the only reason he was able to deal with Cartman being around him. Token and Tweek, however, supported each other and were just glad to have someone to talk to other than Craig.<p>

* * *

><p>Kenny woke up in a bed for once. Usually he just woke up anywhere in South Park, covered in bruises from a fight, so this was somewhat of an improvement.<br>He looked around and noticed that he was late for school, again. He slowly got up from the bed, groaning. He looked more carefully at his surroundings and noticed that this wasn't his room, it was Tweek's.

There was a small note taped to his chest. It had clearly been written by Tweek. Even after giving up coffee when Stan left, his handwriting was... unique.

"Kenny, you came into my room last night, talking about Stan, Kyle and something else I can't remember."

"_I must've been more drunk than I thought to talk about Kyle..._"

"You threw up on my shoes (thanks for that, by the way)-"

"_Fucking smartass..._"

"-and passed out on my bed. I tried to wake you up, but it was of no use, so I just cleaned you up as best I could and used my sleeping bag."

"_That explains why my shirt is missing... I guess I should be thankful he didn't call the cops._"

"You're my friend and all,-"

"_Aw, that's sweet..._"

"but I really hope this doesn't happen again."

"_So do I. Now how do I get out of here?_"

Kenny looked around and noticed the window was slightly open, and that there was a ladder next to it.

"_Thanks, Tweek._"

Kenny used the ladder to get out of Tweek's house, since it'd be hard trying to explain to his parents why he was there in the first place.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, as Kenny raced home, Kyle was getting bored listening to Mr. Garrison's long speech about his ex-boyfriend. He looked outside and let his mind wander. First he was thinking about Stan; where he was, how he was doing... then about Stan's parents; specifically about whether they had given up hope like almost everyone else or not.<br>Eventually his thoughts turned to Kenny. He thought about why Kenny drank so much. It caused Kyle great pain to see him like that. Kyle knew Kenny was just trying to deal with Stan going away, but this was no way to do it.

After a while he started daydreaming about Kenny, as he usually did while taking breaks from studying. He imagined that Kenny had stopped drinking himself half to death every single night and that they were together. Then reality stabbed Kyle's fantasy in the gut and left it bleeding to death in a dark alley. Kenny wasn't going to change. He was going to keep drinking until one day his body couldn't take it anymore. The only question was how long that would take. Even if Kyle and Kenny started dating, Kyle knew the blond boy wouldn't change.  
>They could never be together.<p>

* * *

><p>By the time Kenny arrived, their first class had already ended. As usual, Butters was nowhere to be seen. He was probably home, like he had been for the past three weeks. Everyone was worried about him, but he kept pushing them away, telling them that he was fine and that they shouldn't worry. However, this wasn't new. Ever since Stan left, Butters stayed at home for a few days at a time, though it had gotten worse in the past year. He used to stay home for a few days, a week at the most, but since this year he stayed home for two to three weeks, sometimes a whole month. If he wasn't so smart (and if the teachers weren't so forgiving) he'd have flunked a long time ago.<p>

Kenny looked over at Kyle, who was sitting alone, studying. He never stopped studying while he was anywhere near the school, not even during recess. Kenny admired his intelligence, but he also thought that, lately, Kyle had become too obsessed with studying. When they were still hanging out, Kyle used to stay up studying until he passed out from exhaustion, and Kenny had no reason to believe that had changed.  
>However, that thought brought back memories from that time. After Kyle passed out, Kenny used to carry him to his bed, taking great care not to wake him up, and carefully put all his stuff back in its place before. Sometimes Kenny wasn't entirely sure Kyle was asleep, as he used to smile in his arms before he laid him down on his bed, although he never asked Kyle about it, as he was afraid that he wouldn't share his feelings.<p>

The bell suddenly rang and Kyle noticed Kenny was staring at him. The latter quickly looked at random things, pretending that he wasn't paying attention to Kyle. Afterwards, Kenny raced inside, sat down and took out his things to get started for his class.

The day went on without any incidents. Kyle kept studying during the recesses, Kenny stayed alone, sometimes with a cigarette in his hand, Cartman was hanging out with his new group and Butters never came to school.

* * *

><p>School was finally over and everyone left. Ever since Stan ran away, the end of schoolwork for the day didn't mean that everyone would be running home as usual. The kids tended to stick together for as long as possible, slowly moving towards their respective homes. Nobody knew exactly why they did this except Mr. Mackey. As the school's counselor, it was his job to know what the kids were thinking. He knew they thought that if they stuck together, nobody would leave again.<p>

Only Kenny and Kyle were walking together now. They didn't say a word to each other on their way home. They finally came to a stop in front of Kyle's house. Kyle looked around and, once he was sure nobody was listening, turned to Kenny. He wanted to see if Kenny could, in fact, change. He wanted to give him a chance.

Kyle: ...Kenny.

"_This should be good..._"

Kenny: Yeah?  
>Kyle: ...I'm worried about you.<p>

"_Oh, great. Here comes a long boring speech about how drinking is bad and how I'm 'destroying myself'._"

Kenny: Kyle, if you're going to tell me to stop drinking, don't. I've heard that speech so many times before it's not even funny anymore.

"_Just like I thought. I'm wasting my time with you, Kenny._"

Kyle: ...Goodbye, Kenny.  
>Kenny: ...I guess that means you don't want to see me again.<p>

Kyle didn't answer Kenny, he just turned around and went upstairs to his room. Kenny knew what this meant. Kyle was never going to talk to him again, regardless of the situation.

Kyle looked out his bedroom window and saw Kenny walking away. He then glanced over at the town. Even though it was Winter, South Park seemed unusually dark.

"_Could Stan's absence really influence the town this much?_"

* * *

><p>Kenny slowly walked home. He felt sad because he had just pushed the guy he loved out of his life because of his pride. Kyle was never going to talk to him again.<br>As soon as Kenny got home, he took some beer out of the fridge, went upstairs, locked his door and window so he wouldn't wander during the night and started drinking it. Before he finished the fourth bottle, he rolled off his bed, onto the floor and passed out, crying.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Butters was in his bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror. His skin was pale, his hair looked like crap and he had large bags under his eyes from lack of sleep. He had even lost weight.<p>

"_Fuck this._"

Butters had had enough. For three years he'd been overreacting to Stan leaving. He was going to clean himself up and tomorrow he was going back to school.

* * *

><p>Well, that's the first chapter. It's shorter than the others, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. I'll be working hard on the second one.<br>Also, a friend of mine came up with a third plot (for my tenth story) which will be at least 4 chapters long. I'm gonna try to make it 8 chapters long, but I can't make any promises. I'll try to finish this one and the ninth one as soon as possible without lowering quality (and without screwing up my schoolwork, obviously).


	2. NDE

This is the final chapter. It should take me one week at most to finish the ninth one and I will start the tenth story immediately after that. So read, enjoy and hope that I stop writing stories with a "dark" setting.

* * *

><p>Kyle woke up at his desk with a massive headache. It was very early, his mom hadn't woken up yet. As usual, he had dreamed about Kenny and how he had changed. Unfortunately, dreams only last for so long before reality comes crashing down. Kyle was sure that not only was Kenny gonna stay the same, he didn't <em>want<em> to change. He didn't deserve his time or affection, although saying it and believing it were two different things. Kyle still loved Kenny as much as he ever did. He just couldn't stand the fact that Kenny was unwilling to change.

"_Why am I wasting my time even thinking about this?_"

Kyle had been focusing on Kenny's situation for far too long. He wanted things to change. He slowly started to focus on his own and realized something was different. In fact, something had been different for a very long time. It wasn't Stan, though. It was something minor. It was the fact that he woke up at his desk instead of in his bed. He never thought about it before, but ever since he and Kenny stopped hanging out that much, he almost always woke up at his desk. After Kyle's brain really "kicked in", he figured out the obvious: Kenny had been taking care of him, carrying him to his bed and making sure he slept comfortably.  
>As soon as Kyle realized this, regret filled his heart. He had told the one guy who actually cared about him to fuck off because of the way he dealt with his pain, instead of trying to help him through it. He knew about Kenny's drunk father, he knew that his brother had gone off to military school, he knew about his family's status, he knew all of it. Yet he didn't stop to think for one single second and just pushed him away.<br>Ever since Stan left, all Kyle had done was push people away. First Cartman (although he kinda deserved it), then his own family and now Kenny, whom he loved more than anyone else. Each boy had their unique way to deal with pain and Kyle's was to keep everyone away from him so that nobody could hurt him.  
>Kyle was now blaming himself for the fact that the three boys had split up. Since Stan had gone away, it should have been his responsibility to make sure they stuck together.<br>Instead, he pushed everyone away to deal with his own pain. He was selfish and now there was nothing that could be done. He basically told Kenny to fuck off permanently, and he knew the only way Kenny could deal with it was by drinking, smoking and injecting himself with anything he could find. Kyle didn't know what to do.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Kenny woke up on the floor. His body hurt because of rolling onto the floor, but it was tolerable. His parka was wet and cold from the beer he had spilled on it, but Kenny was used to feeling cold.<p>

He crawled up to his bed, since he couldn't stand up properly. He sat down and looked around. His room had always been messy, but it was worse now. There were beer cans on the floor, beer stains all over the carpet...  
>The only thing that had been perfectly preserved was the last photo Kenny, Kyle, Stan and Cartman took together. It was hidden in a box under Kenny's bed, along with other personal items. He opened the box, picked up the photo and examined it. He should have known back then that Stan wasn't going to change. It was only a matter of time until he either killed himself or ran away. In the box there was also a love letter he never sent to Kyle. He wanted to, but he was too scared. What if Kyle didn't love him? What if he did but couldn't be with him because he was too scared of his parents?<p>

Kenny glanced at his clock and noticed just how early it was. He reached into the box again, this time searching the very bottom of it, and found his small "drug kit". He went around the room, checking the window and door to see if they were locked, so nobody would see him do this, and sat back down on his bed.  
>The effort it took just to walk around the room was too much for him. He then grabbed a small amount of narcotics from his kit and took them. Their effects only kicked in after a while, so he went downstairs to get some more beer.<p>

As soon as Kenny reached the kitchen, he noticed that his sister and mother weren't home, leaving him alone with his dad. Everyone knew that Kenny's dad was a drunk, but what they didn't know was that he was an angry drunk. Even Kenny's mother didn't know it. Before he used to hit Kenny's brother, Kevin, but now that he was gone, Kenny was the new target of his misplaced anger. A significant portion of the bruises other people attributed to fights were actually caused by his father.  
>Kenny's father was the main reason Kenny drank himself half to death every night. He knew that if he told his parents that he had been drunk, they wouldn't mind the fact that he almost never came home and, even though he still got into fights, that was better than what his dad did to him.<br>Thankfully, he was asleep.  
>Kenny glanced over at his dad, to make sure he really was asleep, and walked towards the fridge to get his beer. He took great care to be as quiet as possible, so as not to wake him up. Once he got what he wanted, he ran back upstairs and locked his bedroom door. He wasn't going to school today; he needed some time to get over the fact that the one guy he ever loved was never going to talk to him again.<br>Stan was gone, Cartman was gone, Kyle was gone, Butters was gone, his brother was gone, his mother ignored him, his father hit him and his sister was a bitch; yet they all had someone. Stan was probably making new friends, Cartman had Tweek, Token and Craig, Kyle and Butters had their respective families and his own family had friends somewhere. He had no one. He was alone.

Kenny suppressed these thoughts the only way he knew how: by drowning himself in alcohol. He grabbed the first bottle and drank it as quickly as he could. He then grabbed the second bottle and stared at it, deep in thought.

"_Is this what my life is gonna be like? Drink my liver away every time something bad happens?_"

Kenny didn't want to end up like his dad, but he didn't have any other way to deal with pain that worked for him.  
>He drank the second bottle as quickly as the first and repeated the process with the others until he finally passed out.<p>

* * *

><p>Butters was preparing himself physically and mentally to go to school for the first time in three weeks. He had been sitting at home feeling sorry for himself for far too long. Stan left because he thought he was doing the right thing and, although that was selfish, he had tried his best to stick around. He had every right to leave. Now everyone just had to deal and try to make the best of it.<p>

Butters splashed his face with ice cold water and stared at himself in the mirror, trying to psyche himself up. Before Stan left, everyone always mocked Butters because they thought he was a pussy, and they were right. But not anymore; Butters was going to get over it and he was going to get things back to the way they were.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, Butters and Kyle were heading over to school.<br>It was clear that everyone was surprised to see Butters outside. Everywhere he looked at he saw people staring or pointing at him. He merely ignored them and continued walking towards the school.  
>Kyle, on the other hand, didn't even notice Butters until he came right to his face. He was still thinking about Kenny and what was probably the biggest mistake he had ever made.<p>

Kyle looked up at Butters' face. He looked different; confident and focused, yet distant. It was creeping him out.

Leopold: ...Hey, Kyle.  
>Kyle: Hey, Butters... You're back...<p>

"_You sound just ecstatic about that._"

Leopold: Yeah. I got tired of staying home. How are you doing?  
>Kyle: I'm fine.<p>

"_Right._"

Kyle was getting uncomfortable from Butters' proximity and the awkward silence. He couldn't focus his thoughts on anything and wanted him to go away. Thankfully, Kyle was saved by the bell. He got up and ran towards his classroom without saying a word to Butters, although the latter followed him closely.  
>Kyle sat down in his usual seat by the window, with Butters sitting right behind him. Kyle tried to ignore him, but it was difficult. Butters was really creeping him out now. He just sat there, taking some notes every once in a while and staring at Kyle the rest of the time.<p>

"_I wish he'd just stop staring at me. What's his problem?_"

Time went by and Butters never left Kyle's side. He knew something was wrong, but he didn't want to ask right away. Kyle lied to him once, he'd probably do it again. He needed Kyle to be as annoyed as possible so he wouldn't even pay attention to what he was saying when he finally asked him about it.  
>Kyle wasn't so much annoyed as he was creeped out. Butters' new attitude was something completely unexpected and was quite unsettling.<p>

* * *

><p>Meanwhile Kenny had woken up again. As soon as he tried to get up from his bed, he felt the sudden urge to vomit and ran towards the bathroom. Thankfully, he remembered his bedroom door was locked and took the key with him as he headed towards the door. He almost didn't make it but he still ended up getting his parka dirty. He took it off and tossed it in the corner. The scars and bruises on his body were visible, but it didn't matter. Nobody was coming over.<p>

When Kenny heard his dad waking up, he almost pissed his pants. He ran as quickly (and quietly) as he could back into his room and locked the door, in case he was still drunk. He probably wasn't, but Kenny wasn't willing to take that chance.  
>Kenny heard his dad coming up the stairs and became even more frightened. He picked up his drug kit and took out the first thing he could find – morphine. He put a relatively large amount of it in a syringe and injected himself with it. After a few seconds, he passed out. At least if his dad was still drunk and managed to break down the door to hit him, he wouldn't be awake to feel it.<p>

* * *

><p>School was finally over and, like before, Butters was following Kyle around until he went home.<p>

Kyle: Butters, why have you been following me around all day?

"_Perfect. Now he'll tell me everything I want to know._"

Leopold: Why did you lie to me?  
>Kyle: What do you mean?<br>Leopold: You lied to me today. Something's wrong. And judging from Kenny's absence, I'm guessing it has something to do with him.  
>Kyle: ...You're right.<p>

"_No shit._"

Kyle: I told Kenny I was worried about him. He's been drinking in increasing amounts since Stan left.  
>Leopold: What did he say?<br>Kyle: ...He told me not to give him a long boring speech about drinking too much and... I walked away from him.  
>Leopold: Why did you walk away? Why did you talk to him about it in the first place?<br>Kyle: ...I wanted to know if he could change, if...  
>Leopold: If...?<br>Kyle: ...If we could be together. I... I love him, but I just can't... be with him if he's not willing to change. If he's not willing to improve.  
>Leopold: Do you know what he's probably doing right now?<br>Kyle: ...Yeah. I just don't know how to stop him. He never listens to anyone.

"_Kyle, just how stupid are you?_"

Leopold: If he won't listen, **make** him listen. Go to his house and yell at him. Just go do something.  
>Kyle: It wouldn't do any good.<br>Leopold: Kyle, I consider you one of the smartest guys I know, but you're making the dumbest decision ever.

"_Thanks, that makes me feel a lot better._"

Leopold: You can't be sure that it wouldn't do any good. You just don't want to deal with your feelings for him. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and take a chance for once in your life. Talk to him. Tell him how you feel and then tell him you don't want to see him get hurt.

"_Butters is right. I gotta stop feeling sorry for myself and work to fix my mistake._"

Kyle: ...You're right.  
>Leopold: I know. Now go get him.<p>

"_That sounds vaguely insulting..._"

* * *

><p>Kenny woke up to the sound of his dad slamming the front door as he left. He glanced around and noticed there wasn't anything wrong with his room. He didn't have any new bruises, the door was still intact and his dad wasn't yelling at him. Everything was fine. Kenny could relax.<br>The morphine was still in his system, numbing the pain of his various cuts and bruises. He grabbed one of the few bottles of beer he had left in his room and started drinking it. A few minutes after he finished it, however, the alcohol started to kick in.  
>The alcohol's effects, combined with the morphine, made him unable to breathe. Although Kenny couldn't die, he was still panicking because of it. He thought about calling 911, but his cellphone was with his parka and the only phone in the house was downstairs, in the living room. He unlocked his bedroom door and tried to run downstairs, as it was a more direct route than going to the bathroom, but he tripped and fell down the stairs.<br>He was preparing himself to embrace death for the umpteenth time when Kyle came in and saw him lying face down on the floor. He heard Kyle call 911 and felt himself being turned over. Kyle had learned CPR from one of his many extracurricular activities and was putting it to use now.

"_I gotta say, I didn't imagine our first kiss would be like this._" thought Kyle.

Despite Kyle's best efforts, Kenny had lost consciousness by the time the ambulance arrived.

* * *

><p>Kenny woke up a few hours later in a hospital bed with Kyle holding his hand. He turned his head to Kyle and smiled at the red-haired boy, who smiled back at him.<p>

Kyle: Kenny, what the hell were you thinking?  
>Kenny: What do you mean?<br>Kyle: Why didn't you tell me your dad hit you?  
>Kenny: ...It's not any of your business.<br>Kyle: Of course it is. You're my friend. It's my responsibility to take care of you, even when you're being an idiot.  
>Kenny: ...I hope you didn't stick around just to lecture me.<br>Kyle: No. I wanted to tell you something else.  
>Kenny: What is it?<br>Kyle: ...You can't figure it out for yourself? Let me ask you something – why do you think I'm here?  
>Kenny: Because... you're my friend?<p>

"_Dammit, Kenny, why are you so oblivious?_"

Kyle shook his head from side to side, which confused the blond boy. He then put his left hand behind Kenny's head, pulling him close for a kiss. Although Kyle loved the feeling of Kenny's lips pressed against his own, he was scared Kenny would pass out again from lack of oxygen, so he cut it short. Nevertheless, it was still worth it.

Both boys stared at each other, smiling. Kyle put his head on Kenny's chest, which prompted the latter to gently stroke his cheek. Even in the darkest of times, even if everyone else had gone away, they knew they could always count on each other.

* * *

><p>And that's the final chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Like I said before, I'm trying to write these as quickly as possible without butchering the quality to get to the tenth story.<p> 


End file.
